


My Girlfriend Is A Ditto

by Frozenleaf



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: April Fool's Day, Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 21:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18302009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frozenleaf/pseuds/Frozenleaf
Summary: It certainly explained a lot of things: how Moon's expression was always a perpetual, blank smile;  how she always seemed to understand Pokemon far better than most other people he'd met. How she hardly spoke, and always acted so strange.And staring into Ditto's beady eyes, Gladion's whole world flipped upside down.





	My Girlfriend Is A Ditto

There were some things in life that one couldn't expect. Gladion certainly hadn't expected to befriend Type:Null, become a runaway, and end up working for Team Skull. Hadn't expected that his mother was plotting to unleash Ultra Beasts on Alola, or that he would play a pivotal part in stopping her. Didn't expect to have his butt saved by a girl slightly younger than him, or to fall head-over-heels for this same girl, Moon, even when she hardly spoke or changed her expression.

And he definitely didn't expect to wake up one day and see said girl halfway Transform into a Ditto.

It had started off like any other  _normal_ day. He woke up like he always did, at seven o'clock sharp. But unusually, his girlfriend of four years wasn't by his side when he woke. The blanket on her side of the bed had been kicked aside, and the rest of the house was quiet. Moon wasn't much of a talker (he barely heard her say a word to her own mother), but she was always noisy when she did things- be it poking randomly at bookshelves or cabinets like she was wont to do, or walking around in circles for no reason whatsoever.

Then he caught a glimpse of her in the bathroom, staring silently into the mirror with her hands on the basin.

With a slight groan, he got up with the full intent to chase her out (it was his turn in the morning, and besides, she wasn't actually doing  _anything_ ). But as he approached, he froze in his step. His blood ran cold.

Because in the mirror, her reflection of her face was  _melting_ away.

A shocked gasp escaped him as he backed away. She turned at the sound- and no longer just a reflection, he saw her face, the way her skin flowed as if it were goo. She stepped towards him, her legs pooling likewise in a similar fashion, each step she took enunciated by a rubbery 'squish'. Her silhouette morphed, just as the colors of her skin and hair and clothes started to change to a light pink.

She opened her mouth, and with one hand reached out towards him, she said, "Ditto?"

Gladion backpedaled- too fast, and he lost his balance. Falling on his rump, he found himself staring face-to-face with his girlfriend.

A Ditto.

It certainly explained a lot of things: how Moon's expression was always a perpetual, blank smile; how she always seemed to understand Pokemon far better than most other people he'd met. How she hardly spoke, and always acted so  _strange._

Staring into Ditto's beady eyes, Gladion's whole world flipped upside down. He'd heard urban legends of Ditto mimicking humans before, stories about many a person caught unaware when their friend or lover turned out to be the pink little Pokemon. But he had always assumed those stories couldn't possibly true.

But as Ditto prodded him gently with its approximation of a finger, the realization started to sink in.

His girlfriend was a Ditto.

It stared up at him harmlessly, a blank smile on its face. Hesitantly, Gladion reached for Ditto, easily picking it up in both his hands. It was small. Light. Nothing at all like Moon's warm body, nothing at all like the way she'd hold him and comfort him even if nothing was said. Its gaze was nowhere as erratic, and it was calm, sitting quietly in his hands. 

He wasn't sure what it was he was supposed to feel. What he was supposed to think. But all he knew was that he  _loved_ Moon, despite her many idiosyncrasies, and if this Ditto was Moon then...

"What do I do now?" he whispered.

Unbidden, the Ditto reached out, and awkwardly, it stroked his cheek. Then, with a cheerful "Ditto!", it hopped off his hands and bounded away.

"N-no, hold on!" Gladion scrambled to his feet. "Wait!"

But the Ditto-That-Was-Moon was fast, despite its tiny, slimy body. He scampered after it, catching a glimpse of it through the hallway. It led him here and there- almost as if it was trying to escape him.

"Moon!"

It paused at his voice. Perched on top of a cabinet, it peered down at him with beady eyes and a blank smile.

But even though he wasn't a Pokemon (even if he had been dating one for several years), Gladion  _knew_ Moon. Knew how she was like, how she must have felt, to see the shock and horror on his face...

"Please," Gladion said, "I'm not going to hurt you. I was just... surprised, that's all."

"Ditto?" It tilted its head, and thereby its entire body.

He swallowed. Reaching out his hands towards it, he said, "I still care about you. And I'd like for us to... figure out what's going on, together. Even if you're a Pokemon, you still saved my life. You're still...  _important_  to me."

Ditto blinked. Its expression didn't change. But, hesitantly, curiously, it leaned towards him. Gladion held his breath. Somehow, his heart was lodged in his throat, and at Ditto's every action, he felt a shiver of panic. Feared that it wouldn't listen. Would flee and disappear.

It stared at him for what felt like eternity. Then, with a cheerful squeak, it leaped off the cabinet with a happy "Ditto!"

Gladion reached for it, ready to catch it in his open arms. Ready to catch what remained of his heart.

Then a beam of light shot out from his side, consuming Ditto's form. In a split second, with a sharp  _zing!_ , Ditto was gone.

Gladion gaped. Wasn't sure what just happened.

Then he heard someone clearing their throat, and a sharp tap of feet on floor. He turned, and there she was.

Her face was still a perpetually blank smile, her gray eyes always warm and gentle. She held Ditto's pokeball in one hand, and had her other resting on her hip.

"Moon!" All at once, emotions washed over him like a tidal wave. He ran towards her, crushing her against him in his arms. Never had he been so  _relieved_ to see his girlfriend, to realize she was still herself.

She stiffened at his hug, before one hand reached over and pat him gently on the back, while the other ran through his hair. A soft sigh echoed in his ears, even as her gentle warmth slipped past the chill of his apprehension. Comforted him, just like she always did. 

When he finally let her go, he asked, "Where were you? You were gone when I woke up."

She glanced at the pokeball in her hand and sighed.

"It ran away? You woke up early to find Ditto?"

She nodded, then turned her gaze back to him. Hesitantly, she reached for his hand, gave it a gentle squeeze. Even though she still wore that blank smile, even though he could see the way she was getting distracted by random furniture in the room, he could tell: from the touch of her hand, the scent of her hair, the soft breath against his skin- she was  _his_ Moon. And Pokemon or human, he loved her nonetheless.

"You scared me, you know."

There was a question in her eyes.

His cheeks warmed under her gaze. "I... I thought the Ditto was you," he managed.

Moon laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it through this i salute you 
> 
> this was written in a moment of crackfic frenzy born from the idea of 'lonashipping, except what if Moon actually acted like the blank-smiling protag in-game' and it wouldn't leave me alone until i brought it into existence so here we are
> 
> happy april fool's day everyone


End file.
